As parents the desire to protect our children is often deep-seated and can consume the relationship. We don’t want to be overbearing, but we don’t want to see them go through pain we believe might be avoided due to our experience. Finding balance is tough. We often struggle with the question, “Do I step in or should I let them learn this lesson on their own?”
Something happens as we assume the responsibility of parenthood. We remember the pain of our mistakes but tend to forget the frustration we felt when our own parents would step in and try to stop us from making a poor choice. It’s an interesting cycle. We don’t want them to hurt so we try to assert our parental authority to avoid the pain of a bad decision or the hurt of rejection, but sometimes the hurt is a necessary part of growth.
I would love to say that life can be lived without pain or grief but that contradicts the teaching of Christ. When He promised, “In this life you will have trouble,” He didn’t say, “until you come to me and I will make it all easy,” or, “your parents will make all your choices for you so you never make a bad one.” No, He said, “Take heart! I have overcome the world.”
In other words, He had experienced life and come through it. He sets the perfect example of how to parent without being overbearing or smothering. He brings us comfort.
As parents, we need to offer wisdom, but we can’t make their decisions for them. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will mot depart from it.” It’s so important that we live a consistent example in front of our children, regardless of their age. Our example will set a foundation in their life that they will default to when making difficult decisions. The path God has set for them may require a different set of instructions than our own. It may be different than the road we think is best for them.
As parents, we have the power to encourage a child to pursue their passions or derail them from the call God has for them. If we equip our children to succeed, there is no limit to their potential. Whether they end up in the place we hoped or something beyond our wildest expectations, they will always remember the support you gave and appreciate your belief in who God created them to be.
It’s a difficult course of action because we want to help them avoid pain. We may even feel guilty for inaction. Pray! God will tell you when you need to move and when you need to let them grow. Trust the love of Christ to guide them even when you aren’t there to catch them when they fall.